Love Out Loud

On the morning of August 7th, I was notified by another campus minister at Virginia Tech that he noticed our Pride flag that hangs outside on the front of our building was missing and two confederate flags (one where the Pride flag was and another one on the back of our building) were hung up in its place. In the week and a half leading up to this event, two of our Pride flags were ripped down and we had replaced them each time. This escalation of aggression towards our inclusive and affirming community was frustrating and worrisome.

In all honesty, the following few days were filled with anger, sadness, and fear. As I sat waiting for the police to arrive, two of my students showed up. One of them was coming to Wesley in response to seeing a post on Twitter showing the confederate flag on the building with the statement “What the f*** is wrong with people?” I mention this because once the police were called, the next few moments and days felt like we were putting out fires dealing with situations like this and trying to share a different narrative than what people wanted to share. (I will say the tweet was not intended to make it look like we put the flag on our building.) The person was upset that someone would vandalize our building in that way. It was challenging and draining.

My number one priority from the beginning were the students and their safety and mental health. Trying to share our story and let students (and others) know that we will not be deterred by this type of hate and violence, Wesley quickly became a hot bed for the national media and more vitriol and hate through phone calls, emails, and on social media. Our students were scared, angry, and hurt by what happened. I have had multiple students worried about coming back to Wesley for fear of what these people might do next. The trauma of this incident was truly a struggle for our LGBTQ+ students. The increased anxiety and fear due to past trauma in the church and outside has made them question their security. We set up opportunities with our Cook Counseling Center and the Dean of Students at VT also reached out for support from his office. I met with students one on one trying to provide support in the ways they needed it.

With all this being said, we have also seen God create out of the chaos! 90% of the response was positive and supportive. We had people write to us and call us to say that our advocacy gave them hope and strength. There were donations of flags, money to buy flags, and even support from our Conference to pay for a security system. One message (of which there are many) brought us so much joy (I was given permission to share):

Hi! I just wanted to share how much it meant to me to see your post about the rainbow flags being torn down and replaced by confederate flags. Allow me to go on…I am a gay man, living in rural Virginia with my partner and our recently internationally-adopted (3 years ago) 19 year old, Colombian-born son. Experiencing racism, homophobia, hateful rhetoric…sadly, I’ve come to have thick skin.

When we recently visited the campus, I struggled with the same concerns ever parent does…but also magnified due to my son’s past prior to adoption.

Questions like: Will this be a campus where he can be proud to have his two dads visit (as much as any college kid is)? Will we, as two men, feel comfortable visiting our son at VT? Will he have a church local that he can be himself, as part of the LGBTQ community (as a son) but also as a Christian?

Please hold firm knowing that while the culprits meant it for bad, God meant it for good. Your message of love and acceptance has been heard. Will there be more hateful messages? Probably! Will there be more damage? I hope not, but possibly.

But know that you gave me hope. Hope that there are still people who understand that for me, I can remember being me for as long as I lived. For sending a message of acceptance and that I belong at the Lord’s table too.

When we visit VT next, our family hopes to visit and worship with your church family. Thank you for renewing my faith in true Christians.

Our first worship service of the year, we addressed the situation as we talked about our Mission to “Love Out Loud.” Students are determined to continue being an affirming and loving community that will not back down in the face of hatred and violence. I am so impressed and thankful for all of our students who desire to share the love of Christ in ways that affirm, support, and celebrate all of God’s children, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, race, age, nationality, physical ability, neurodiversity, socioeconomic status, external affiliations, or any other personal identifier(s). We commit ourselves to fostering a community filled with acts of inclusive love, outspoken care, and intentional hospitality, to be in ministry with all, and serve in the name of Christ, who taught us to love unconditionally.

Wesley at Virginia Tech will continue to be a safe and affirming space for all people and this act of hate and violence will not deter us from that mission and vision. Thank you to everyone who has reached out, prayed for us, and shown solidarity in support of our community. Your love has, and will continue to be, a source of hope and peace.

Bret (He/Him/His) is the campus minister at Wesley at Virginia Tech. He has been at Tech with Wesley for 12 years. He is passionate about ministry with young adults. Bret and his partner, Erin, have two girls ages, 12 and 8, and a 140lb Daniff named Groot!