Why I Do What I Do, Episode #9

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18)." Fear is a terrible and debilitating thing, often rooted in idolatry (giving undue loyalty and allegiance to anything other than God), uncertainty associated with unfamiliarity, and potential loss of control and/or power.

As a White, cisgender man, I quickly learned to like things clear cut so I could manage life more efficiently and confidently: black-white, male-female, true-false, up-down, in-out, win-lose, good-bad/evil, righteous-sinner. But that is not how the world truly is. When I was a teenager, a somewhat older college student gently told me, "One day you will learn that there are many shades of grey in the world." I had no idea what she was talking about, or what she meant.

I have spent a lifetime learning the wisdom she shared so many years ago. Along the way I have come to the realization that fear has been at the heart of my reluctance or resistance to embrace the Other, whether that Other speaks a different language; hails from a different part of the globe; adheres to another religion (or none at all); has a different skin tone, or gender identification, or sexual orientation and attraction, or a combination of these beautiful and wondrous varieties of being human. I confess that over the decades as I have grown in faith, self-knowledge, and awareness of others, fear was often my initial response to whatever difference I was invited (or forced by the Spirit) to bridge for the first time. And each time I was, to borrow a phrase from C. S. Lewis, "surprised by joy."

Fear is linked to my desire to manage life traveled on narrow highways; love invites me to embrace and cherish life on an ever-expanding broad way, a thoroughfare in the desert that leads to life (Isa. 42:14-17). My long life (which now has many more yesterdays than tomorrows) has been spent learning this hard lesson: the more I encounter, embrace, and love my Other sibling, whoever they may be, the more my fear is replaced with joy, delight, and wonder; and the more I encounter and enjoy, delight, and wonder in the God who also is Other, is revealed through the Other, and is making all things new (Isa. 55:8-13).

Until we as the church welcome, embrace, and include LGBTQ+ folks, our witness to God's full-bodied embrace and hospitality to all God's children is being hampered; fear continues to cripple our walk into God's new Way; the fruit of love shrivels on the Vinedresser's vine, and our souls are shrunken. In the face of our inclination to fear, God's go-to response is "Fear not! I am with you (Isa. 41:10, and numerous other places in scripture)." For the good of Others, for my own good, and for the fuller manifestation of love of the mysterious God who is Other and one of us, I must not rest until none are afraid (including me) and all are at home in the holy, wholly beautiful dwelling God is building with room enough for all.