Letter to LGBTQ+ Ministerial Candidates

Editor’s Note: The leadership of the United Methodist Church is shared between laity and clergy, each filling valuable and essential roles. For those who discern a call to ministry, the UMC ordination process is a long and intentional process. It can be stressful for all candidates, but we acknowledge that for LGBTQ+ siblings who discern a call to ordained ministry in the UMC, the ordination process presents an additional burden. Today’s blog post is a letter written by a United Methodist clergyperson who has navigated this process. Their letter is addressed to LBGTQ+ candidates who are not safe sharing their full identity. Prayers abound as we move into the season of Ordination Interviews.

To all those working through the process from the closet: 

We are entering the season of Board of Ordained Ministry interviews. The papers have been written, edited, and submitted. You’ve had mock interviews, conversations with friends and mentors, times of prayer and preparation. As interviews approach, I think about all of those who are preparing with the additional stress of seeking commissioning, ordination, or membership from inside the closet. 

My experience of the ordination process from the closet was absolutely heartbreaking. It felt inauthentic to hide a part of myself as I shared the ways God has called me (as I am) into ministry. The words of encouragement and prayer from members of the Board felt hollow; would they still say those things if they knew who I am? I felt like a traitor to my LGBTQ siblings who are out, those who have had to move to different denominations or conferences, those who have fought to have their calls acknowledged and affirmed out and in the public eye. A process that is supposed to feel sacred had been stripped of its holiness by a church mired in sin and hate. As you continue to answer God’s call for your life and ministry you may find yourself feeling similar things (although I pray that isn’t the case). 

If you are struggling in this liminal space between worlds– authentically yourself answering God’s call in a church that you love and authentically yourself as a member of the LGBTQ community who wants to love and be loved– I’d like to say to you what I wish someone had known to say to me: 

You are beloved. You are strong and brave for answering God’s call in spite of the challenges and stumbling blocks that have been placed in front of you. I am deeply sorry that the church we both love has allowed hatred to mar your experience of a sacred experience. I am sorry that you have been robbed of the full joy that you deserve. Please know that the sin of the institution hasn’t erased God from your call or the church’s affirmation of that call. Please remember that no board or agency of the church is an arbiter of God’s love for you. The church has looked at a whole community of called, gifted, worthy, queer folx who want to serve God in ordained ministry and failed them. The church has failed you. The perseverance that you have shown and continue to show as you packed your bags for Nineveh and the church threw you into the belly of the whale is the perseverance of a beloved child of God. Your faith is an inspiration. 

You are not a traitor to the LBGTQ community (neither are any of those who have taken different paths). To seek ordination (in the closet or out), to move conferences, or to find an affirming denomination– none of the paths set before us are easy. You are doing your best, just as you are. 

I’m sorry that in this process that is already heavy with responsibility you bear the added weight of denominational dysfunction on your shoulders. The yoke of the sin of the church is not the light burden that Christ has promised you. 

Know that God is with you, that you are not alone. Know that there are many who pray for God to bless you and your call without strings attached.

Know that no matter the outcome of the papers or the interviews, you are a beloved child of God. 

Know that you are loved.